New year....new beginnings.

Been a very long time since I posted on here. Life got pretty busy for awhile with work, taking the kids and Greg to and from appoinments, and making sure everyone else got to where they needed to go. However, its another new year. lets see if i can remember to post on here more.

I am still working over at Timber Ridge in the restaurant....been there a year and a half already...August will be two years. Second longest I have had a job(Arbys is the first being about 2 years exactly).  Its not a job I love but its a job and it is helping to pay the bills.   I was diagnosed with high blood pressure this past year(suprise, suprise) and am on two meds for it..toporol and a water pill because my ankles and legs swell up really bad.

Gabe is doing great in school...his teachers have had nothing but good things to say about himt his year...far cry from last year when i was getting phone calls and texts every other day.  We got him medication for his ADHD in 2014...that has a big part of how hes doing in school. Getting him evaluated to see if theres anything else going on in that head of his also.

Sean is doing awesome too...his speech has improved alot....he will sometimes go off on a really fast tangent and we wont beable to understand what he is saying, but other than that he speaks very clearly. Potty training is still an issue. Yes, i know he is 5, but mentally, he is about a year behind.  its hard when he doesn't recognize the feeling to go nor does he tell me he needs to go. However, we are working on that this year bc it needs to get done.

Greg is being Greg.  Still iinvolved wit CWA(wish i could make it to more shows). Has been out of work for a few months now because of issues with his foot...had a scre put in a few weeks ago because the bone got really brittle from infections and kept fracturing. So we are dealing with that stuff as well,

new years resolutions for  me are to lose ther est of the weight,,.stull have about 30 pounds to go...slowly getting there. Havent really had time or money to go to a gym so havent had a chance to work out at all. And gto not complain as much. I complain a lot...especially when I have to do everything. which is a lot. I complain about stupidity at work(who doesnt?), and things that go on in daily life. I am going to try to work on that. Its gonna be hard but I will try.

Kids loved their christmas gifts this year....Gabe got a handful of lego building sets, the power rangers megaforce game for his 3ds and a steam gift card for $20. He also got the lego batman video game for the pc and lego harry potter 1-44 for the pc, plus a second controller for the computer so someone can play with him when im not home.  Sean got about 4 new leap pad games(bubble guppies, the sesame street game, pixar pals, and mr. pencil), a $20 download card for the leap pad store, three pajanimals movies(so I dont have to screw with netflix or youtube), and a mickey mouse cclubhouse playset that he likes.  Adults christmas will come next month at tax time :)

I will try to be better about posting...I dont have a lot of time thesse days. I am two classes away from my Bachelors degree with Ashford University so I am spending a lot of time on those as well. I hope everyone has a better year this year.

New Year. 2013 can suck it.

Been a long time since i last posted. But, as the title says, its a new year.  Last year was super rough on everyone.  Some good, some bad(ok a lot bad).  I have a job I have been working since August...cook in the hungry moose restaurant at the timber ridge lodge over by the grand geneva resort in lake geneva, wi.  Greg had a job at the grand geneva for grounds but ended up having to quit b/c of nasty presure ulcers on hus feet....cant be on them all day anymore.  Figured out whats up with the boys...Sean has PDD-N)S(pervasive developmental disorcer not otherwise specified), and gabe has ADD.  He tested rather high for it.  Still waiting to hear from the docs about what to do next. right now just kind of dealing with things as they happen.

Kids had a good christmas.  they got a lot of cool things...their favorite so far is the leap pad ultras they each got from santa, cane with a carrying case and headphones and  a game each.  gabes other favorite gift is the ratchet and clank collection video game he got for the ps3....from great grandma and great aunt judy.  hes been playing that a lot over the break.

Kids were supposed to head back to school tomorrow but its going to be uber cold so all the schools are closed. wish my work closed. i dont wanna go out in that shit.  gotta make the money tho.  going to see about getting financing for a better car that wont explode on us while we are driving down the road. the one we have sounds like an air plane.  thats possibly not a good thing.  

I dont know how but I survived two weeks of winter break at work.  indoor waterpark in winter=lots of people.  whenever i went in there was almost nowhere to park in our lot.  going to have a very awesome paycheck on the 10th.  looking forward to that.

Well.  Lets hope 2014 is a much better year.  In my opinion, 2013 can go jump off a cliff.

I'm so super stressed out. Why does everything always fall on me? I've been doing everything I can and its not good enough. i stayed even when i found out about the ultimate bertrayal. I can't be strong anymore. Everyone has a breaking point. Well this is  mine. For 6 years, my life has been taking care of kids(since Gabe was born). I love them and would do anything for them.  But no matter what I do for anyone else, its never good enough. I love Greg enough to still be here through all the crap we have been through. Hes been gone for 3 days hanging out with people. Ive been stuck at the house. No money, no gas in the car.  Im the one people come to and ask if we have had any job leads and if we have filled out any applications. Im relying on the state of wisconsin for food and insurance, and family to pay our bills. My life has hit a downward spiral and I cant do anything to stop it. I feel incompetent because I cant provide for my kids who both have special needs. I dont have a place for us to live to call our own. I have not had a night out with just my husband in about 5 years. everything is just falling apart and theres nothing I can do to stop it. i dont feel loved or cared about. I feel like freiends i thought were mine too only tolerate me because of Greg. Im just hurt by alot of things. And the one person Im supposed to beable to talk to doesnt understand. doesnt care. ive tried, ive been there for him through everything. I know life isnt easy, but this is ridiculous. im not wonderwoman. i cant fix everything myself. i need help. and im tired of getting crap when i ask for it

rant.

Ugh.  I asm so frustrated with a lot of things as of lately.  Mostly with how Greg is treating me and the kids since we have been here.  I have been feeling like he doesn't care.  He will go and help everyone else with things and get them to the places they need to go, but when I have something scheduled for the kids its like I am on my own.  I get NO help with anything.  I am the one who gets up with Gabriel in the morning. I am the one who gets him over to school on time for the breakfast program.  I am the one who helps him with his homework.  I make sure sean sits on the potty to potty train him.  I'm the one who makes sure the kids have what they need....even taking an ass ripping from gregs sister because we ask for help when we need to. He quit his job a month after we came up here because its too far of a drive and he has no place to stay on weekends when hes working to save gas. Fine, that I get.  i would have done the same. But as it stands right now, he barely spends time with the kids.  Ive been the one taking them to parks and to the pool and everything when we had the apartment.  I was the one who walked an hour with them to the other side of Elk Grove to the library and the other parks there when we were in the hotel.  I'm the one who makes sure the boys get to their appointments.  I do the paperwork so we have a way to get food.  And about to call  to apply for the W2 Wisconsin works thing cause we need some cash coming in right now.  Not once do I get 'wow honey, you do a lot for us to make sure we are taken care of" or "i'll take the kids for a bit so you can have some downtime".  Everywhere I go, the kids are usually with me. And when I did get a chance to go out with friends, I got an attitude about it cause I was leaving the kids home.  Sorry, But I need some time to myself too.  and when i TRY to talk to anyone, even Greg, I get the "i don't have a right to feel this way".  Well, sorry.  I do have a right to and its how I feel. the only one who lets me vent is Greg's mom but I don't see her on a regular basis and she doesn't need my issues piled on her either. Shes got her own things happening.  My thing is, he cared enough to stay.  He cared enough to tell me we will find a way with having two kids, yet it seems like I am the only one putting forth any effort.  When you care enough to stay, then you need to be involved, and know what's happening with your children.

Sean has a speech therapy evaluation on Thursday afternoon, and I had to reschedule Gabe's appointment again for the 2nd time cause AGAIN greg was asked last minute to take his uncle to Janesville to see about his insurance and stuff. I am not rescheduling again. Gabriel needs updates immunizations or they can not let him go to school.

lazy day

Much like the title says, today was alazy day tuesday.  Got up and got Gabriel off to school.  Them got laundry put away(which reminds me I have another load in the dryer I need to get out in a bit).  Spent sometime with my little guy Sean wartching a few shows on netflix., then went out to the living room and watched some more of My Fair Wedding on their netflix while Sean was playing back here.  I love that show.  I love seeing these crazy wedding themes and watching what David Tutera does with them.  I wish he coulda done mine and Greg's back in the day.  Now  I have ideas for a vow renewal.  We are talking about one for our 10 year anniversary, cause let me tell you, it has been crazy already and we are only on 6 years.

Gabriel is doing way better in school.  He sat down today to practice his spelling words and his hand writing was awesome for a 6 year old.  He makes his a's huge but that will improve, and he needs to work on his s's.  Got a decent report from his teacher today.  His sheet was mostly smileys, except for math.  He got frowns in math cause I guess he doesn't like it much.  But his teacher says when he listens and participates, he gets the correct answers.Hmmm....makes me wonder if the math is too EASY for him.  I don't know.  I will have to work with him and see where he struggles.

gonna go get that laundry outta the dryer before i forget again :) then dinner, some wii time for Gabriel, then bed.   These early mornings are crazy lol.

ughhhhh long week. week 2 of school year down :P

Hi everyone. Its been a very long week.  I got sinusitis again.  2nd time this year so far. Ive had it so many times I can diagnose myself :(   Gabriel had a better week in school. Mostly smiley faces on his behavior sheets and he did awesone on his spelling test today. Only one word wrong.  Not much else happening.  Just living and taking care of kiddos and doing what needs to be done.  Greg and I have an appointment for physicals Thursday morning. Mainly cause we havent been to the doc in a year or so....no insurance. Got the Wisconsin stuff set up so just waiting for them to send in my replacement cards.  Hopefully they come by thursday.

Gonna be an early night for my kiddos i think cause i feel like crap.  I loathe sinus colds.

2nd week of school underway :P

Hi all. Sorry that my posts aren't more frequent, but I'm a busy mom at the moment.  Potty training Sean, and  now Gabe is in 1st grade. He got his first list of spelling words this week, and we sat down yesterday to practice them. I have him do his words 2 times each night.  they are easy 3 letter words.  He needs practice on his a's though.  The lowercase letters mostly.  He writes them backwards currently.

Over the past couple school days, I have gotten progressively better reports from his teacher. He had a really good day today.  And I can look out the front window and see him playing at recess, which I LOVE.  I figured it was just a matter of new school, and new rules to get used to, and him getting used to the fact he is there all day now.

Not much else going on. Looking for jobs. Raising kiddos, and living life.  Live and let live :)