Thursday, August 30, 2012

more frustration and irritated with life

ugh  i am kinda pissed. greg had gone up to the apartment to finish the cleaning with everyone and i stayed here to watch the kids. he tells me the kids got birthday cards from my family...and he opensa them and uses the money towards dinner for tonight. i dont have a problem that he used it for dinner, but i do have a problem witht eh face the kiuds didnt get to open their cards and see what was sent to let them knoew that others are thinking of them on their birthday. that part pissed me offf. and i yelled at him about it when he came back from the store and told him hes giving them their money back on payday and how would he feel if i had opened his card and took his birthday money without telling him about it?  its a morality issue i have with this.  this part of the reason i kept the mail box key with me(and also iw as the one home most of the time.).  that kinda pissed me off today.
 that and the fact that since we have been here i have been the only one working to get our space organized. he doesnt even try to help me,  this happened last time too when we lived here. i know he wants to spend time with everyone but your own responsibilities come first.  if i hadnt moved we wouldnt have a po box, or an interview set up for the foodshare and state insurance here in wisconsin(got a phone appt set up for the 11th). its just frustrating cause it makes me feel like he doesnt care enough to get things moving.  he says he doesnt want to be here very long but the way this week has gone, we will be.  im stuck with the kids while he  disappears to the living room with everyone, and when i ask for help with stuff i get an evil look. im like look, its not just my stuff its yours too.  and every time i bring it up i get this look like i dont have a right to be upset.  im kinda getting fed up with it cause he will help everyone else when they aqsk but when i ask for help iuts like no i dont want to. just really frustrating and irritating. i never get to do anything i want but heaven forbid gregs plans fall through. like i was suposed to go see toby keith with a few friends but i cant go cause theres not enough gas because he planned to go do video comentary with matt for NEW tomorrow. so once again im screwed a night out i badly need.  the last time i went out was a few months ago and even then i got an attitude from him about it cause i was leaving him with the kids for a few hours.

and to anyone who says i dont have a right to feel how i feel you can kiss my ass. cause i am tired of feling like my needs arent important or what i have to say doesnt matter. and every time it ry to talk asbout what im feeling he just turns the other way. and then wonders why i dont want to have any 'alone time' after hte kids are in bed.  im sorry but while we are here my kids money will stay their money and like anyone else ppl need to ask if they can borrow it for something. heh. i feel a bit better now.  still being ignored cause hed rather be with everyone else doing what he wants to do instead of on his computer filling out job apps to get us out of here faster but who am i to say so?

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